Does anybody know what exactly we are talking about when we talk about leadership? For many of us, it’s an elusive yet emotionally explosive term. When you hear the word, what comes to mind?

Do you think of the charisma of a Fortune 500 CEO, the bold strength of a four-star general, the sacrificial service of Mother Theresa, the fame of celebrity, or the principles made popular by John Maxwell? Millions of books have been written and taught about the virtues of leadership and yet, in practice, the very idea of the subject can trigger a great deal of mistrust.

Why is there so much dissonance surrounding the word leadership?

When everything in our culture celebrates the spotlight, it’s difficult to separate leadership from the hierarchy we crown it with — it creates the notion leadership is synonymous with an achievement or climbing up the ladder of success. Fierce competition overshadows the importance of how this hierarchy is scaled and confuses leadership with identity. It also causes an unhealthy codependency between leader and follower where one decides the fate of many, at the expense of many, because the many gave permission to the one.

Because of this, we’ve all experienced the harmful effects of poor leadership — the proclamation of something good traded for an abuse of power, coercion, deception, manipulation, destructive control and exploitation of authority. The person we celebrate in the spotlight can be someone who wants the position of glory more than the sweat required to actually care and serve, all because somehow we’ve agreed to the premise that power comes from a higher position rather than the character within.

Generally, there are two types of people who want to be leaders:

those who want to be somebody and those who want to do something.

If we ask ourselves which one we are, it will tell us if we have what it takes to lead or are merely pretending to be something we’re not. We all know what happens when the latter is in charge, but what about the former? What could leadership look like when it’s free from the egoism of an artificial hierarchical power structure? Perhaps, something like this:

• Leadership is about service, not rank or position.
  It’s caring for your neighbor. It’s cleaning the toilet. It’s being the last one to eat because you want to make sure everyone gets some good food before you can think about rest for yourself. 

• Leadership takes initiative.
  It is the willingness to go first, to courageously do the right thing, and to go alone if no one else dares. It’s the internal drive that no one else can decide, create or duplicate for another person. It is a heart thing that cannot be faked.

• Leadership is not about needing permission from “followers”. 
  You don’t need someone else’s permission to care about, serve, or love them. Of course, those you serve have the choice whether to receive it or not. But that cannot be confused with waiting around for someone else to see you as a leader. If you feel tempted to do this, you might be caught up in wanting to be someone rather than wanting to actually do something.

• Leadership knows authority comes from character alone.
  Authority is the moral center we trust and submit to when power, responsibility, and love collide in perfect harmony. We naturally follow those who serve and care about others, commit to taking responsibility, and have the power to follow through and deliver. Authority without trust is abuse.

• Leadership functions as power under, not power over someone else.
  There is a wide gap between influence and service to others vs. exploitation and using others — one empowers an individual while the other forces submission of that individual. When all of these aspects align, there is an unleashing of power that is not threatened when others have that same power.

• Leadership is not exclusive to men.
  Women have as much, if not more, of a right to lead because of their proven history of service, commitment, care for others and strength of character. None of these traits are exclusive to men — in fact, many men fail to develop such traits where women excel. Woman are equal in capacity for authority; I think it’s time they are treated with the same automatic dignity and respect we’ve naturally given to men without question.

We don’t need to wait to be recognized as someone who can take initiative to serve the whole of our group from the bottom up while developing the character to increasingly care for and listen to those around us. We can just actually do it.

That’s the kind of leadership worth following.